Nothing can stop Daniel Vettori

Except really really unfair D/L calculations.

Vettorri is a strange little creature.

He is the equivalent of that bits and pieces player you pick for your backyard game. He’s the quiet sort, not everyone’s first pick but you know you get some decent overs out of him and he can bat right or left handed if you asked him to.

Dan’s of course done one better. He is captain of the 8th state of Australia. You may have heard of it. Some people call it New Zealand.

The reason Dan leads this rag tag team of pretend cricketers is because he is the best in the world at this type of cricket.  If you can call it that. But he has mastered the art of looking weird and awkward but still being able to get runs and take wickets.

He does this despite being the only Half-Blood in world cricket. A Half-blood being a wizard born to a human and wizard parents.  This is in no way a peragotory term.  Because yesterday I was wishing I was just a little like Dan. Minus the specs.

Everyone knows that NZ only care about ODIs against Australia.  And yesterday Vettori just would not give in.  In the midst of it all he forgot where his off stump was. Sometimes thinking its 5 feet outside off and sometimes thinking its 10 to the leg. None of his shots reminded me of Mark Waugh but he got old hairy arms  pretty worried. With good reason.

The only way Vettoris romp was going to be stopped was if two English statisticians devised a formula that would make the Kiwi target very unfair – whilst also managing to confuse everyone else. Which is of course exactly what happened.

How Australia got their full 5 overs of batting power play and NZ did not is pretty fucked up. If that hadn’t happened we would have seen Vettori all gangly and awkward, reverse sweeping Ryan Harris for 6 from 10 feet outside leg stump.

Damn the English. Damn you to hell.

11 Comments

  1. reina said:

    Excellent points, especially about the totally-fair-and-not-at-ALL-fucked-up D/L calculations, but, dude, Vettori? Not ‘little.’ (I’m talking about his height, and breadth, before anyone gets excited.) He’s actually a pretty large burly man.

    He’s also a total fox, but that is beside the point.

    March 7, 2010
    Reply
  2. Niroshan Kumarasiri said:

    The most under-rated player in the world by far. He is definitely born to wizard parents! Amazing amazing cricketer!

    March 7, 2010
    Reply
  3. damiths said:

    reina> the word small was being used loosely. And yes I have heard plenty of women call him just that.

    sorry, but were you disagreeing with my D/L assessment or was it a clever was of saying you agree with me ?

    Niroshan> He is isnt he. We love him too.

    March 7, 2010
    Reply
  4. Chavie said:

    Haha, awesome post! Too bad Mr. D and Mr. L had to screw it up for Dan! 🙁

    March 7, 2010
    Reply
  5. reina said:

    Oh, I was agreeing with you. That calculation blows. How is it fair that NZ lost two PowerPlay overs but only had their target reduced by 8? Total crap.

    The only Duckworth and Lewis I can stand are these guys: http://www.dlmethod.com/

    March 8, 2010
    Reply
  6. Lou said:

    I can’t think of anyone who would have sympathised with Punter if he had had a moan about D/L from the same position as Vettori. He would have just been seen as a bad loser and a whinger.

    It’s all about perception.

    March 8, 2010
    Reply
  7. insideEdge said:

    There is one thing that can stop Dan…

    Pakistan Cricket Board

    March 10, 2010
    Reply
  8. Andrew F said:

    Whoop whoop. Saw your new page 2 piece. The Sri Lankan juggernaut keeps on rolling. YEAHHHH.

    March 10, 2010
    Reply
  9. damiths said:

    Chav> Cheers!

    Lou> But thats only fair isnt it.

    Inside> I think you meant Ijazz ‘Jabba’ Butt. You’re right, there is no way Dan could get around him.

    AndrewF>Cheers !

    March 10, 2010
    Reply
  10. Aswin said:

    NZ manages to come up with at least one magic trick like Dan in a generation.

    April 15, 2010
    Reply

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