President Jayasuriya

Recently elected President Jayasuriya of the Democtratic Republique of Sri Lanka yesterday announced sweeping changes across the board in what he calls the Mandatory Power Play – Part 1

President Jayasuriya touched on several key areas of Change

Finance/Business
-All future government investments require a proof of ROI inside 3 months. Any projects that take longer will be scrapped.

Jaysuriya issued a statement saying “For any nation to become a great one you need to start looking at short term wins. Once we get our eye in we can settle down the economy and we can then start thinking about long term plans or innings if you will. Otherwise the public just get bored”

Retirement

-In a move many had predicted, the new president increased the mandatory retirement age to 150 from 65, with an option to come back into the workforce if the employee still felt like he could play a role.

Government and Parliment.
-The current parliment is to shut down with immediate effect. All future govermental meetings will be held at the Presidents residence around a very large round table. President Jayasuriya felt that inorder to drive the nation in a new direction one needed to be innovative and clever and slightly unorthodox and to break away from conventional democratic practice.

This move has been hailed across the world as a brainchild and the US senate is already thinking of relocating to the Rose Bowl.

Transport
-City speed limits were increased to a 110kpmh from the usual 20-30kmph ambiguity. Drivers who consistently drive below the speed limit are to be heavily fined by the Police. Car owners who take calculated risks that do not endanger the general public will be allowed lee way under the new laws.

Employment and Trade
-In a decision that angered most critics, President Jayasuriya ordered that employees who are only skilled in one field be immediately sacked. In its place, Jayasuriya encouraged the new generation to specialise in one area but to also have an allround ability so that they can be relied upon when the company needed them.

-He also encouraged the workforce to look at a move to India as a future prospect. The president felt that there were lucrative business deals to be engaged in across the palk straits and that this will eventually benifit the country as a whole.


11 Comments

  1. […] Play – Part 1 President Jayasuriya touched on several key areas of Change find the changes here President Jayasuriya | Fly Slip __________________ […]

    February 17, 2010
    Reply
  2. Isuru Jayawardana (Melbourne) said:

    ha ha ha good one. Papa jayasuirya has become a real joke now.

    February 17, 2010
    Reply
  3. Chavie said:

    haha classic! 😀

    February 17, 2010
    Reply
  4. Sujan Rao said:

    Very nicely imagined and written ! Good one Damith

    February 18, 2010
    Reply
  5. Andrewf said:

    Hahah this is awesome. Very nicely done.

    February 18, 2010
    Reply
  6. K.Gopi said:

    Ha ha….
    Great one…. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    February 18, 2010
    Reply
  7. Hikz said:

    Lolz malli lolz!

    February 18, 2010
    Reply
  8. light said:

    ohhh dear me! poor guy is already getting the political blasting!!
    this is the nature of politics of suppose…

    February 19, 2010
    Reply
  9. damiths said:

    light> Do you doubt he would not make any of these changes ?

    February 20, 2010
    Reply

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