These players are likely to lose their balls

Jacob Oram

He’s big. But he’s soft. And you already knew that. If he survives an over from Murali we would be pleasantly surprised.

Jacob just seems lazy. He’s built like Freddie but plays like a pussy. It must be really annoying to be a Kiwi supporter when such a huge man fails so often.

The somber, rough pitches of SL will wear this man down.

Verdict– balless, if he has any

Jesse Ryder

The rotund one has class but does he have a good hydration system under all that blubber.

We predict the heat and general slowness and gruelling conditions will wear Jesse down.  With absolutely no experience in the real subcontinent- Bangladesh doesn’t count – Jesse stands to loose more than his wicket.

Verdict– will probably loose more weight than balls

Malinda Warnapura or anyone else who opens with Paranavitana

Given that he gets a game.

Warnapura is in some of the worst form of his life. A good fast bowler can easily expose his short comings without too much fuss.

The Kiwis don’t have a world class quick bowler but they have enough guys who can put the ball the right place. The openers slot is probably SLs biggest weakness at the moment- so it’s a good thing if he doesn’t play at all.

Verdict- balless if he plays, balless if he doesn’t


  1. Jacob Oram and Freddie Flintoff are pussies…..the Chennai SuperKings are also pussies for selecting them and putting supporters like me in a lot of agony.

    Jesse’s a whole load of talent, bro…hope he puts up a big one at SSC, so that I can seez him!

    Hey, how could you forget about Chris ‘Bradman’ Martin? hehe 😀

    August 18, 2009
  2. greyblazer said:

    Martin, O’Brien and Tuffey have the ability to trouble the Lankan batsmen in Lanka.

    August 18, 2009
  3. damiths said:

    grezblazer> they might, if they played at perth.

    August 18, 2009

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