How Sri Lanka can guarantee a 2020 WC win

Sanath Jayasuriya, has to come into a bit of red matter, from Star Trek, use it to cause  a space time continuum anomaly, which will in turn cause a black hole, which he must travel through, leading him back in time, to meet his 1996-1999 swashbuckling self and swap places.

Dilshan needs to realise he is not Sri Lankas Sehwag. There are deliveries, in the course of a cricket match, that cannot be hit to the boundary. Besides, Dilshanalogy just doesn’t sound right.

‘Calamity’ Jehan, needs to not bat at no3. In fact , it would would be to the benefit of everyone concerened, if he does not bat at all.

Mahela Jayawardene, needs to get over this nonsense of the forward defensive being his favorite shot.

King Kumar, needs to express himself a bit better with the bat, rather than spending all his time expressing his views on others and creating comfort zones from which he can then get out of.

Chamara Silva, needs to get back to cricketing wilderness, he seems more comfortable there than out in the middle.

Farveez ‘the roof’ Maharoof, needs to change his run up the one Ballalji has, cuz that shit is funny as hell.

Splendid Mendis, needs to reset his memory chip, which was embedded in the back of his head after removing shrapnel from Lahore, to the days when he made Dravid and co look like me batting right handed, or even left handed for that matter.

Murali should do fine, as long as no match is in a 15 mile radius from Oxford.

Lasith Malinga, needs to reinvent himself, so that he learns to bowl deliveries other than yorkers. I mean who wants to see Yorker after Yorker anyway. Really.

And

Nuwan ‘smiley face’ Kulesekara, needs to be injected with whatever the hell they injected Logan with before he became Wolverine and caused him to be so pissed off all the time.¬† For fucks sake, act like a fast bowler for once. Stare, drop kick some stumps, roar like a beast after every ball. Whatever, just get it done.

8 Comments

  1. Dave said:

    Mahela saying his favourite shot was the forward defence was one the highlights of the first World Twenty20. Along with Shahid Afridi saying “anywhere for six!”.

    June 8, 2009
    Reply
  2. achettup said:

    I’m glad to see you’re back in top form and you have no idea how much I’m hoping your team is too! Cheers

    June 8, 2009
    Reply
  3. DhanaLakshmi.R said:

    ICC WorldCup 20-20 is bored without
    Sachin Tendulkar

    June 8, 2009
    Reply
  4. Karthik.S.R. said:

    Now the 20-20 world cup is fine with Dhoni Captainship and bored without Sachin Tendulkar

    June 8, 2009
    Reply
  5. Looks like Splendid has worked it out – am watching him crush hapless minnows Australia right now.

    June 9, 2009
    Reply
  6. insideEdge said:

    It’s right up there in the realm of the impossible – Chubarak blasts SL past Australia. I know it’s only Australia, possibly the most clueless T20 international side, but after all the stick we give him time to bow before Chuba

    June 9, 2009
    Reply
  7. damiths said:

    Dave> Wasnt it just, when we asked Mahela about it, he said it was a bad attempt at humor. We wholeheartedly agree.

    atch> Cheers, will be making the rounds to you soon!

    old batsman> Ya memory has been reset. It was splendid viewing

    insideedge> Muba the Man? Seems like it after last night. I wanna see how he does against WI. With no pressure and all that.

    Muba seems to have turned a corner somewhere. Interesting times ahead.

    June 9, 2009
    Reply
  8. vikka said:

    good article i must say.. muba was lucky, he didn’t hv to face mitch.. bt he’s gettin better cuz last time i saw him i thought he shouldn’t even play domestic T20s.. mathews at no.7?? i’m sure he can fit into da top 5..

    June 11, 2009
    Reply

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