Except really really unfair D/L calculations.
Vettorri is a strange little creature.
He is the equivalent of that bits and pieces player you pick for your backyard game. He’s the quiet sort, not everyone’s first pick but you know you get some decent overs out of him and he can bat right or left handed if you asked him to.
Dan’s of course done one better. He is captain of the 8th state of Australia. You may have heard of it. Some people call it New Zealand.
The reason Dan leads this rag tag team of pretend cricketers is because he is the best in the world at this type of cricket. If you can call it that. But he has mastered the art of looking weird and awkward but still being able to get runs and take wickets.
He does this despite being the only Half-Blood in world cricket. A Half-blood being a wizard born to a human and wizard parents. This is in no way a peragotory term. Because yesterday I was wishing I was just a little like Dan. Minus the specs.
Everyone knows that NZ only care about ODIs against Australia. And yesterday Vettori just would not give in. In the midst of it all he forgot where his off stump was. Sometimes thinking its 5 feet outside off and sometimes thinking its 10 to the leg. None of his shots reminded me of Mark Waugh but he got old hairy arms pretty worried. With good reason.
The only way Vettoris romp was going to be stopped was if two English statisticians devised a formula that would make the Kiwi target very unfair – whilst also managing to confuse everyone else. Which is of course exactly what happened.
How Australia got their full 5 overs of batting power play and NZ did not is pretty fucked up. If that hadn’t happened we would have seen Vettori all gangly and awkward, reverse sweeping Ryan Harris for 6 from 10 feet outside leg stump.
Damn the English. Damn you to hell.