Praise for the great Splendid Mendis

Poetry, in words.

“5.6 to Ponting, bowled him! Ponting stepped outside leg trying to smite him over cover but loses his leg stump. Looked to me like a leggie from Mendis 48/2”

“7.3 to Watson, gone! Watson attempts a horrible sweep to this very full and straight delivery, and he’s hit on the back pad. Poor stroke – quality bowling 59/3”

“14.5 to MEK Hussey, what bowling. What belief and guile from Mendis. A quicker and fuller ball to Hussey who’s rapped absolutely dead in front. Too quick, too straight 94/6”

Ricky on Mendis

“We’ve all had an opportunity to see plenty of video footage of him, but when you’re in a Twenty20 game and you’ve got to go out there and play a certain way, you’ve got to take, rick the challenge up to the bowlers,” Ponting, who was one of Mendis’ victims, said. “Today he got the better of us. “

Translation – Mendis was too good for me and the rest our shit eaters. We jizzed in our pants.

“He certainly had a big impact on the game. That was probably the difference in the game that their spinner did dictate to us a little bit through the middle of our batting innings.”

Translation– Mendis dominated us. We are shit. So we Jizzed in our pants. I just cant stop saying it but we really did jizz in our pants this time. Hopefully it will wash off easy, cuz I hate it when those flakes get stuck on my hairy arms.

Sangakkara on Mendis

“In a Twenty20 game, where you have to attack almost every ball you play, to have unpredictability, that mystery around him [Mendis] is good”

“Batsmen will get on top of him on some days but more often than not he’s a wicket-taking bowler, an attacking bowler.”

– I am the King, all hail me. Also, Mendis made Australia jizz in their pants.

Sangakkara on the IPL

“Even if some of the players did not get consistent games, the fact that they were there, rubbing shoulders with some of the greats of the game, learning from that experience [has helped them]. They were training hard, learning to innovate and it kept them on their toes.”

Translation– The IPL is the shiz. I don’t care what anyone says. Lalit Modi is da man and I love being hugged by Preity Zinta. It makes me forget about Lahore and stuff.

Btw, did I mention Ricky had jizzed in his pants?


  1. Sachintha said:

    Ahahahha man, cool piece.

    Btw, did you notice the number of FB status updates and links on Aussie match? Even some of the people who I thought didn’t know the difference between a Test and a T20 had hurried to put a comment. Made me think, how much people love to hate the Aussies!

    June 10, 2009
  2. aravind said:

    you are a complete idiot if you think Mendis is a great bowler. Within 5 one day matches he has been figured out by all indian batsmen. it just matter of days and he will be creamed all over the park. mendis is nowhere close to warne or murali or kumble.

    June 10, 2009
  3. damiths said:

    Sach> Cheers, didnt log into fb after the game unfortunately. Yes everyone loves putting one over the Aussies dont they.

    Aravind> He who dismisses the great Splendid Mendis will be struck down from here to eternity. Your fate awaits you.

    June 10, 2009
  4. raj said:

    This is a rocking post, Damith. After a long time..
    (couldnt resist it – you were posting like Jacques Kallis’s blogging cousin for quite some time now. This sounds like the KP’s cousin that you are…)

    June 10, 2009
  5. Theena said:

    Good post, Damith.

    And Aravind: Absolutely. The Indians figured out Mendis in a plan that had Baldrickian cunningness written all over it: get out as many fucking times as possible, in as many ways as possible, give him the best series figures for a debutant in the history of test cricket, and then, when posed the question of how your team is planning to counter Mendis, tell the world that you had him figured out. Because he couldn’t possibly make the Indian batsmen look more foolish than he has done already.

    Now bugger off and watch Yuvraj swat half-assed, supposed pace bowlers for six sixers in an over and pretend he is the shit.

    June 12, 2009

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